” I wish to die, now ” – available on amazon Kindle

18 04 2014

 

Image

I took a while to prepare myself for this. It took a basket full of encouraging words from  patrons, reading enthusiasts and academicians for me to finally put my compilation out there in the market. Yes the kindle edition of “I wish to die, now” is up and available across all major amazon online stores across the globe. All you need is a kindle or a kindle reader on your device.

I genuinely look forward to this organic expansion of my thought realm by way of connecting to thousands of readers all across the globe. I am keen to see whether my thoughts are able to find a resonance in the worlds which I have never been exposed to.

Below is a brief description of the book for you to take a buy call.

happy exploring !

MIhir Gajrawala

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“I wish to die, now”, is an individual’s tryst with himself; a passionate attempt to set the self free – a self that is holed in conventions, a self that is trapped in conditions and a self that is bound by compulsions. The author uses the medium of words to let the trapped energy of within, manifest itself. These are not mere essays or articles; these are the reflections of a sensitive soul, which is craving to break out.

The reader will encounter a variety of thoughts that will make him/her get closer to his/her deeper persona. From belief systems to communal behavior, from entrepreneurship to gratefulness, from politics to friendship, from philosophical prose to romantic poetry, from essays to opinions – it is a really broad canvas, which is a potent space for an exploratory reader to dwell in.

As Nietzsche puts it, “one must have chaos inside oneself to give birth to a dancing star”; the passages in the book will take the reader closer to the chaos that exists within him/her. It will make you question, it will make you wonder, and it will shake away all your inertia and bring you closer to your true being.

Irrespective of your interest in the specifics of subject matter, the book will connect you to the thoughts presented. The book will give a fillip to your sense of exploration and wonder.

And all of these come out as scintillating word sketches from a first time author, who describes himself as an expressionist.

“I wish to die, now” will make you want to live, even more!

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here’s the link to the amazon page.

If you happen to buy the book, I request you to take time out to give your review on the amazon page. That shall really help me to know how my thoughts are being perceived.





hgang in dharamshala

30 01 2014

The dharamshala experience has been so overwhelming that words alone are not able to do justice to the effort to communicate it. Working on a Visual articulation of the entire experience by way of a film.

below are the links to the teaser and preview of the film :

 





ક્યાં લઇ જાય છે આ રસ્તો / where is this road taking me

17 01 2014
‘dharam’ means ‘ones truest nature’, that part of you that cannot be taken away, that which cannot cease to exist. That is your ‘Dharam’. ‘Shala’ means ‘a designated space’. A designated space as in a  school that would teach you ways and give you means to realize your truest nature is called a ‘Dharamshala’. When we set out on this fun and getting together of friends trip , our only notion of Dharamshala was of a peaceful and serene hill station of North india.
Over 90 hours of being in mindful conversations with friends, after more than 30000 kms of collective travelling and after a soul stirring 9 hour trek in snow and walking our way to about 9000ft above sea level it dawned upon us that we happened to be in a school to learn and to understand our true nature, we found we are in DHARAMSHALA.
The trek of Triund, apart from its aesthetics and natural beauty turned out to be an experience that left me speechless. Yes, someone as expressive as me, is left speechless. This is after about 2 days that the whirlwind of overwhelming thoughts are settling down, and i am seeing some faint meaning in all that was felt. We started the trek as a fun holiday excursion not knowing that it would take a sharp turn and become a challenging trek where we will have to battle against odds like bad weather, uncompromising terrain, resource-lessness, fear and despair.
We battled it with guts, trust, hope, togetherness but mostly with a ‘careful unconcern’ and humour which is so unique to our lot. Never did any of us had anticipated that at the end of 9 hours the trek of Triund would give us the greatest lesson of our lives – lesson of conviction, courage, hope, causality, trust, friendship and above all the lesson to let go. Individuality gave way the belief in ‘interdependence’.
Most of our times are spent in planning. In trying to control the tomorrow. As they say living in the illusion of control. But if we apply only a bit of common sense, it is so evident that nothing is in your control. The point from where you start, the journey and the point at where you might end, nothing can actually be planned. All of it just happens.
I often share it with friends – that when i start writing a poem i actually do not know where it will end. Invariably rhyme precedes the reason. Infact i give meaning to it once i would have completed it. From this perspective i am actually not the writer, i am only a  medium. The poem doesn’t come from me, it comes through me. This is exactly how the entire life should be taken. That you are not the doer, you are a mere medium – is the ultimate way to live. The acceptance of this fact is the way to reach to experiences of contentment and happiness, the only path to rise above the set paradoxes. The trek of Triund taught this to us.
The verses below are an attempt to distill all of the above in the form of a poem. From one perspective it is a description of the beauty, wonder and amazement that was experienced during the entire Triund trek and from a certain perspective the verses are a metaphorical expression of life as i decipher it, at this point in time of my existence.
As i said above, I am giving meaning to it after the poem is written, these words actually occurred to me at different points during the 9 hour trek of Triund.
Image 
ક્યાં લઇ જાય છે આ રસ્તો , ક્યાં લઇ જશે આ રસ્તો ,

વગર જાણે ચાલ્યા કરું એના પર હું આમ અમસ્તો  .     (2)
આડા-અવળા ને ત્રાંસા પથરા થી અંકાયેલો આ રસ્તો ,
લીલાછમ ઘટાદાર વૃક્ષો થી ઘેરાયેલો આ રસ્તો ,
તાજા બનેલા બરફ થી શણગારાયેલો આ રસ્તો ,
ના દેખાતા પક્ષીઓના સંગીત થી ભરાયેલો આ રસ્તો ,
કુદરત ની અતુલ્ય ચિત્રકલા સમક્ષ વસેલો આ રસ્તો ,
ક્યાં લઇ જાય છે આ રસ્તો , ક્યાં લઇ જશે આ રસ્તો   (2)
નવા દ્રશ્યો મારી આંખ ને બતાવતો આ રસ્તો ,
મિત્રોના અંતર ને ઓળખવાનો આ રસ્તો ,
ભણેલી ફિલસુફી ની પરીક્ષા લેતો આ રસ્તો ,
નિયતિ ની યોજના થી રૂબરૂ કરાવતો આ રસ્તો ,
આસ્થા ની જ્યોત ને અખંડ બનાવી જતો આ રસ્તો ,
ક્યાં લઇ આવ્યો છે આ રસ્તો , ક્યાં લઇ જશે આ રસ્તો   (2)
જે જોયું છે તેનું સ્મરણ કરાવાનો  આ રસ્તો ,
જે નથી જોઈ શકતો એનો એહસાસ કરાવાનો આ રસ્તો ,
જ્યાં પહોચ્યો છું ત્યાં સુધી પહોચવાનો આ રસ્તો ,
જ્યાં નથી પહોચી શક્યો , ત્યાં મને લઇ જવાનો આ રસ્તો
જ્યાં નથી પહોચી શક્યો ‘નિર્દોષ’, ત્યા મને લઇ જવાનો આ રસ્તો  .
ક્યાં લઇ જાય છે આ રસ્તો ક્યાં લઇ જશે આ રસ્તો ,
વગર જાણે ચાલ્યા કરું એના પર હું આમ અમસ્તો  .




Paradox of doing and not doing.

4 12 2013

Letter sent to The Office of His Holiness The Dalai Lama, seeking a private audience to His Holiness during my visit to Dharamsala with my friends in coming January.

Ahmedabad, December 2nd, 2013.
© mihir gajrawala

It is our misfortune that HHDL is not available in Dharamsala at the time of our visit. The Office of HHDL informed us of his unavailability.
I am sure that many would find a resonance in the thoughts presented in this letter. Hence sharing it here on my blog.

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Thought Map
A peep into our minds to explain the significance of being an audience to His Holiness

‘Paradox of doing and not doing‘

As entrepreneurship students we are educated to keep ourselves occupied in investing our energy in ‘achievements’. To work towards a better tomorrow, to work towards economic growth ; that you be more tomorrow than what you are today – is the mantra given. Yes our teacher did warn us to not equate this need to achieve with ‘greed’ and ‘short cuts’, but ‘achievement’ remains the fulcrum of our thoughts all through out.

A dozen winters have passed by since we completed our post graduation in entrepreneurship and set out to ‘achieve’. We are a bunch of individuals, separated by culture and geography, but bound by our sense of purpose.

Over these dozen odd winters, we have grown, we have changed in more ways than one; but our understanding still revolves around this word ‘achievement’. As any other individual, we have encountered both wonder and despair during our experiences and it has an impact on our comprehension on life. Over countless chats, numerous discussions, unaccounted hours of introspection, individually and collectively, we all have started to look at this term ‘achievement’ a bit more differently than what it was when we started our journey.

‘Sometimes things go wrong; that’s normal. But we have a saying in Tibetan, ‘Nine times fail, nine times try again’. @dalailama via tweeter

Yes we believe in the above. We exhibit this spirit in our endeavors; we manage to not get bogged down by failures. Having said that, readings of various spiritual masters have resulted in the germination of the belief that ‘any quantum of action if invested in a direction opposite to one’s nature will only generate disillusionment and dissatisfaction’.

At this point we all differ. Each one has a different perception of what this true nature is. But we all agree that none of us has ever experienced that infectious and innocent smile that we always see on the face of His Holiness. What is it that could give such perennial smile? If such a smile is the manifestation of being in ones nature, what direction may lead us there? And this makes us re-look at the concept of achievement. Does ‘achievement’ takes one away from ones true nature, does willful ‘giving up’ brings one closer to his true nature?

Does such a smile needs to be ‘achieved’ or it is an outcome of ‘giving up’ ?

We do not know. At this question we are stuck. We see a dead end. And so worldly speaking, we are in a situation where we have ceased to ‘achieve’; we are not growing any more (in our chosen fields of entrepreneurship). That is the paradox we are living in – the paradox of doing and not doing. The paradox of feeling ‘nothing’ amidst ‘everything’

We are TOTAL neither in doing nor in not-doing. We are neither someone nor are we no-one. We are neither fully Present nor completely Absent.

We do not claim to be seers or seekers. We are absolutely normal anybodies that exist everywhere. With all genuineness we accept the presence of hypocrisy in our expressions.

Who are we then? And why this mail?

Well we are a bunch of friends, 14 to be precise, who got united during our education some 13 years back. Many of us reside in cities quite far away from each other. We embark on this little vacation to discuss, introspect and meditate upon the above paradox, which we all are living in.

Our request is not to talk or debate. Nor do we have a list of questions. With above described mindset we wish to walk into the room of His Holiness, see His smile and just listen.

Legends say that Mahavira never spoke, He was only heard. We wish to have the blessing of hearing to His Holiness.

Thank You.





કોની શોધ ? / search for whom?

26 11 2013

We all are searching for something/someone. We are constantly in look out for something/someone. The search is so passionate that while we remain elusive the feeling of ‘missing out’ engrosses us perpetually. We regret not being able to find that which we are looking for. But do we know what we are looking for? What is this mad search for? The irony is we have no clue of what we are searching for. Ignorant of a goal, we make this search, the anchor of our lives. Isn’t this a fatal waste?
How weird it is to feel eluded of that which we do not even know. And how this pointlessness has become a celebration of life remains to be comprehended. Also this craving that we harbour – is it giving us ‘love’ or making us ‘hateful’. Happiness seems to be equated with the preference to be ignorant.

Below verses are a poetic depiction of the above observations.
 
ઘણા સમય થી તને યાદ કરું છું 
વૈશાખ ની લુ માં ગોતતા ગોતતા 
શિશિર ના વાયરા થકી આવી પહોચ્યો છું.
 
મને ના મળવાની તારી જીદ અપરંપાર છે 
ધસમસતા વંટોળ માં શોધતા શોધતા 
તને પામી લેવાની મારી હઠ બેમિસાલ છે.
 
તું શું છે તું કોણ છે તું ક્યાં છે 
વિચાર કરું ગુલાબ ની પાંખડી તોડતા તોડતા 
તારી ના મળવાની પીડા કેમ પારાવાર છે.

તું છે પ્રેમ કે પછી તિરસ્કાર છે 
જીવન ની કેડી પર ખોવાતા ખોવાતા 
તને ના જાણવાની મજા બેશુમાર છે.

 

 

  





Fan Mail to Devdutt Pattanaik

9 10 2013

Respected Sir,

I have been following your articles, blogs and quite a few books since last 3 years now. And it is having a profound impact on me as an individual. From what i could analyse myself, i think the qualities and empathy and sensitivity have increased substantially in me.

Along side the way I see/perceive mythology and everyday rituals have gone through a complete change. In that sense I credit you in instilling belief in me. We may not know what is the ‘correct’ way, and that is actually not the idea; but having a belief system is a mandatory anchor for a content life.

Being born in a Jain family a lot of Jain traditions and rituals have always intrigued me; I read and enriched myself about some of them, but mostly I was indifferent. But over time I am able to form better response to those rituals. Not just myself I also am able to help family and some friends in comprehending the same and making them aware of their indifference. This aspect is having a very positive impact on my character.

I have interacted with you earleir too, over your blog on here on fb or on mails; but today I write particularly to thank you for the role you are playing in the TV series Mahabharata. I have studied Jaya, but going through it visually, with Krishna as the ‘sutradhar’ or ‘summariser’…is a wonderful and enriching experience.

I see how wonderfully it is engaging a lot of my friends, family and colleagues in a positive manner. I have witnessed some other mythology series being turned into soap operaish narratives. Frankly when Mahabharata was announced i was skeptical about the same effect. But the result is pleasantly different. And i see a lot of your perceptions being presented both in dialogues and in what Krishna discusses every day.

Along with the entire team of the series, and specifically you, I take this opportunity to thank you for bringing such wisdom on Television.

I am hopeful of this having a positive impact on the societal mindset at large.

Regards,

MIhir





કેમ ના મળે ? / why not?

9 06 2013
The ones who are most precious to us, we are the most inconsiderate to them – our children; our kids. Yes we love them the most, more than our own lives may be, and plan our lives so as to provide them the best. But in this process I feel, we end up turning a blind eye towards them. That little toddler, that little girl of yours, who hasn’t learnt to say a word, who hasn’t learnt to voice her opinion, we make her do and not do things merely based on our perceptions and choices. We do not really know whether they want to play when we are free only on a sunday. We do not really know what she wants when we decide whom she should be friends with; we do not really know her feelings when, for whatever reasons, we decide to shift her from school to school, we really do not know. As parents we claim that we know, but the question is do we really know. All that we do in the name of parenting – making them study, training them to be independent, coaching them to be successful, preparing them to be greedy – do we really consider the child’s feelings??
What do you see when you see in her eyes ? – do you see her agreement, do you understand her disagreement, do you really , truly ever look into her eyes before subjecting your ‘parenting’ on her?? I doubt.
I hate the idea of being a ‘grown up’. I detest the idea of ‘being on my own’. I yearn to be taken care. All my life, always. From here germinates this supposedly ‘childish’ inquiries. The verses that follow are a poetic depiction of such innocent inquiry.
That little toddler if could talk and express, would ask these questions to you the ‘parent’….
કેમ તારી છાતી થી તારે મને છેટો કરવો પડે ,
આખો દિવસ તને વળગી રેહવા કેમ ના મળે ?
કેમ તારે મને પલંગ પર સુતા શીખવવું પડે ,
તારા ખોળા માં મને  જગ્યા શું ના મળે ?
કેમ મારે સ્ટીલ ની ચમચી ને મોમાં નાખવી પડે ,
તારા હાથે કોળીયો  ખાવા મને શું ના મળે ?
કેમ તારે મને રમવા પ્લેગ્રૂપ માં મોકલવો પડે ,
ઘર ના પ્રાંગણ માં ઊછળકૂદ કરવા કેમ ના મળે ?
કેમ મારે હાથ લુછવા નેપકીન લેવો પડે ,
તારા પાલવ નો છેડો હવે મને શું ના મળે ?
કેમ તારે મને પાઠ ભણવા શાળા માં મોકલવો પડે ,
બાની એ વાર્તા ને દ્રષ્ટાંત હવે  સંભાળવા કેમ ના મળે ?
કેમ તારે મને એકલા રેહતા શીખવવું પડે
સંયુક્ત વાતાવરણ  માં મને ઉછેર કેમ ના મળે ?
કેમ હવે ‘માંગ્યા વગર તો માં એ ના પીરસે’ એવું સંભાળવું પડે
મને શું જોઈએ  એનો તને જરાય અણસાર  કેમ ના મળે ?
કેમ તારે મને ‘હવે મોટો થયો’ એવું સમજાવવું પડે ,
તારા હ્રિદય નો અંશ થઇ રેહવા મને કેમ ના મળે ?
તારું બાળક  થઇ એવો તો મૈ  શું ગુનો કર્યો
કે મારી એક પણ હઠ ‘નિર્દોષ’ તારા કાને ના પડે
મારી એક પણ હઠ તારા કાને કેમ ના પડે ?







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