Reflections : for one more day by Mitch Albom.

22 05 2009

DO YOU EVER  think while something is happening, about what’s happening someplace else? My mother, after the divorce, would stand on the back porch at sunset, smoking a cigarette, and she’d say, ” Charley, right now, as the sun is going down here, it’s coming up someplace else in the world. Australia or China or someplace. You can look it up in the encyclopedia.”

“It’s a big world,” She’d say, wistfully. “Something is always happening somewhere.”

She was right about that. Something is always happening somewhere. So when I stood at the plate in that Old Timers game, staring at a pitcher whose hair was gray, and when he threw what used to be his fastball but what now was just a pitch that floated in toward my chest, and when I swung and made contact and heard the familiar thwock and I dropped my bat and began to run, convinced that I had done something fabulous, forgetting my old gauges, forgetting that my arms and legs lacked the power they once had, forgetting that as you age, the walls get farther away, and when I looked up and saw what I had first thought to be a solid hit, maybe a home run, now coming down just beyond the infield toward the waiting glove of the second baseman, no more than a pop-up, a wet firecracker, a dud, and a voice in my head yelled, “Drop it! Drop it!” as that second baseman squeezed his glove around my final offereing to this maddening game – just as all that was happening, my mother, as she once noted, had something else happening back in Pepperville Beach.

Her clock radio was playing big band music. Her pillows had been freshly plumped. And her body was crumpled like a broken doll on the floor of her bedroom, where she had come looking for her new red glasses and collapsed.

A massive heart attack.

She was taking her last breaths.

I don’t think I think about what is happening at the other end, while I am so focussed on my end. I like to believe that I do, but in reality I don’t. While I am too busy thinking about myself, I hardly think of what the other person is going through in the very same moment.

I ask myself this :

How often have I missed out on complementing my mom for a nicely cooked meal, kept hot specially for me, just because I had a bad day? While I simply say “I’m busy”, do I ever think of the moments waiting for me on other side? The moments which I actually long for, I make myself busy for them. I take pride in being ‘accessible’ to the world for my ‘so called’ ideas and advises, but I fail to think of a 5 minute attention which my grandma might be yearning for? How many times, occupied with my saturday night plans I  have missed out on knowing about my mothers headache? Just because I thought I am doing some creative work, I have not thought of giving due attention to a waiting customer. While holding onto someone so much, I never really think of those who are holding on to me. I seldom think of friends who I don’t attend to, while I am busy craving for someone else. While I am pretty much engrossed in my phone, I miss out the smile that the friends around are giving to me. Just because I am busy discussing ‘important’ things till late night, I forget that someone important might be losing out on her sleep.  How easily I vent my anger/frustration out on the one who loves me, without even thinking how his/her day was?  I often get hang ups when my expectations are not met, but do I even know why they weren’t met? Hasn’t it occured that I easily change the rules of a relation, and not even thinking what it means for the other person involved? While I am working on things to seek the pride of the world, I just forget to think of what would make my father proud?  So many times haven’t I missed out on cuddling my nephew, just because I was too occupied with my next blog!?

“I am so smart and intelligent in living my life, in making my choices; that I hardly take time out to think of all of those, for whom I am a part of life.”

Something is always happening somewhere.

While being engrossed in a chase which I essentially understand as life, I miss out on so many of life filled tiny moments.

“You can find something truly important in a minute,” she said.

Going at this pace and in this direction all I would find myself in is shame and shadow, and regrets and frustration.

“I wanted it to stop, Mom…this anger, this guilt. That’s why…I wanted to die…”

I lifted my eyes, and, for the first time, admitted the truth.

“I gave up.” I whispered.

“Don’t give up,”  she whispered back.

I buried my head then. I am not ashamed to say it. I buried my head in my mother’s arms and her hands cradled my neck. We held each other like that, just briefly. But I cannot put into words the comfort I drew from that moment. I can only say that, as I speak to you now, I still yearn for it.

Charles “Chick” Benetto was lucky. He got one more chance to make up for the time he had missed out to spend with his dead mother. He got that conversation with the one he loved. He got a ONE MORE DAY.

But, not all are as lucky as him to get that day back. Even if I get it, why should I wait for that day, while I can still live that moments with the one I love and for the ones who truly and eternally are concerned for me.

If I don’t, then I know I can go my whole life collecting days, and none will outweigh the one I wish I had back.

write up includes excerpts from Mitch Alboms best seller for one more day.

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Sub-Urban Blues.

21 05 2009

Like a school during vacations,

Like a park in autumn,

Like a shop without customer

Like a stranger in the city,

Like a summer night without electricity

Have been so lonely, so empty, so barren…


Like a bus stop at midnight,

Like a river without banks,

Like a cell phone without connectivity,

Like a car out of fuel

Like a bridge without traffic

Have been so lonely, so empty, so barren…


I’m waitin’ for the season to change

I’m waitin’ for the clouds to burst

Nothings left to expect, other than the rains…

Drench me O rain, and wipe my tears, and wipe my tears!


Like a street without light,

Like a temple before the dawn,

Like a leaders bust at crossroads,

Like an elder in a BIG house,

Like diwali at an orphanage

Gone is the vigor and gone is the buzz

Never been so out of words;


I‘m waitin’ for the season to change

I’m waitin’ for the clouds to burst

Nothings left to expect, other than the rains…

Drench me O rain, and wipe my tears, and wipe my tears!


Have never been so lonely, so empty, so barren…





perhaps…

18 05 2009

perhaps





The Two ends of a relation – A Passing Thought

14 05 2009

Why do i behave so differently while receiving and while giving of the same thing ?!?
Why? I fail to understand this behaviour of mine. When I receive something – could be a thing or an emotion – from someone I tend to take him/her for granted. On the other hand when I am the giver I desire the receiver to NOT take me for granted; I desire him/her to consider my ‘giving’ special. I desire acknowledgments, I desire a special response.

Not that I am a cold receiver; but it’s definitely not the way while I am the giver.

Let me try and interpret this for myself.

Hypothesis 1 : “I give, because I ‘love’; while I receive, because I am being ‘loved’ ”

There is a fundamental difference in loving and being loved. The former is a process with active involvement while the latter is a passive act. For example, say its your birthday and I wish to give you a gift. So I will think of different gifting ideas, will search for those things, might also put in my own art/craft skills to make what I want to give you.  I will be thinking about it night and day, visualizing your expressions on receiving and similar other thoughts would occupy me.  Now, suppose I am in receipt of some such ‘gift’ on my birthday; I just can’t know or understand the entire process that the giver might have gone through. At best I can just receive.

Now, within a relationship, it becomes important that both involved should play both the roles. If my giving you, promts you to give me back, and so on and so forth than the dichotomy would cease. This continous shifting role play makes the relationship so very exciting and I think there would be a stage when one doesn’t realise that whether one is giving or receiving!!!!!That experience is what I understand as BLISS!

Hypothesis 2 : ” I give, because of uncertainty & fear while I receive because some one is uncertain & insecure for me”

Here also, the fear (of losing) or uncertainty of relation makes the giver much more alert and active and involved than the receiver. The receiver by no means can match the degree of intensity of the givers emotions. For example, say things are strained between you and me for some emotional reasons. Its just not going well since some time. But I do not wish to let you go. So I put in efforts, think of ideas to excite you by expressing in a non-verbal fashion, by planning a surprise date full of special things etc. Now, if I am receiving this I may or may not be so excited as the one who is giving this moment to me.

This kind of exchange, I believe would lead to ‘reciprocity’. A relationship wherein I would just reciprocate to the opposite persons action. I react because I do not wish to be labelled as insensitive or insipid. Such equations are what I term as being ‘practical’ or ‘pragmatic’.

Hypothesis 3 : “I give, out of some  formality, and I receive, because of a prescribed social rule”

Not much to say here.  The most ideal example would be a wedding reception. But than I do subscribe to it as this is what gives me my social standing.

These three Hypothesis tells me the probable causes for my behavior. To an extent they answer the question with which I started off  “Why do i behave so differently while receiving and while giving of the same thing ?!?” At the end of it, I believe that the dichotomy is my nature. (I don’t think I am the only such being, maybe all are alike)

Depending on my interpretation of a particular relation (which are highly distinctive) I  subscribe to either of the above mentioned hypothesis. I must also understand that the three hypothesis are not mutually exclusive – all three might be working in a single relation at the same time.

 And depending on the other persons interpretation either of the following experience awaits……

Bliss…Pragmatics… Formality…awaits!





A Teacher – as is see.

10 05 2009

kvsm

dedicated to my teacher Dr. KVSM Krishna.

It’s said that life is a journey from ‘dark’ to the ‘light’. As I understand it – it is moving from ignorance to knowledge, from disillusionment to gratification, from despair to hope, from insecurity to fearlessness, from greed to benevolence, from vanity to humbleness, from craving to belongingness, from lust to love and from wrong to right. As Dr. Krishna used to put it, “Life by itself always gets miserable”. In this movement of ours, life throws in hurdles in the form of cowardice, greed, lust and egotism. I often wonder as to how to overcome these hurdles?, how to resist these advancements of corruption?

Worldly wisdom says qualities like reasoning, intelligence, wisdom, experience and power of imagination are enough to move successfully. These qualities are generally obtained through inheritance or formal learning. But then I have experienced that these are not enough. There is something more which one requires to surge ahead happily and successfully. It is from my teacher that I have learned that one needs to be  ‘aware’, to be aware of one’s own self; one’s own motives and values.  It is self-awareness that helps an individual to cross these hurdles of life.

But from where does this ‘self awareness’ come? From where does the knowledge of self start. At this crucial point what takes an individual above is the devotion of a teacherMahatma Gandhi said, “ Men often become what they believe themselves to be, If I believe I cannot do something, it makes me incapable of doing it. But when I believe I can, then I acquire the ability to do it even if I didn’t have it in the beginning.”

The infinite ‘faith’ which a teacher instills in the student is what makes the difference. It is a teacher who can make the student believe in his  own potential. FAITH and tremendous faith in one’s own self is the quality with which an individual can break the barriers of darkness to see light. The source of this faith and self-belief, for me, has been, and is my teacher.

My teacher’s belief and faith in my abilities and potential, is the basis of my knowledge about myself; basis of my ‘self-awareness’. In all the moments of darkness it is he who has kept the flame of faith alive in me. He is the mirror of my conscience. It is this conscience which has abled me to differentiate the ‘right’ from the ‘wrong’. At every point of making a choice it is this ‘faith’ that gives me the confidence to make a decision. It is his vision of me which ignites my faith.

A teacher is the conveyer on which an individual makes his journey from darkness to light.

I feel blessed to have found such a teacher. And I hope to find good amounts of ‘light’ over my life!

Gratefully,

Mihir





A Friend – as i see.

10 05 2009

dedicated to the friend who evoked these emotions in me.

 

Some 1 lakh years ago, somewhere near heaven, a path breaking experiment was on. The entire council of heaven was divided on this new experiment. The experiment had put the existence of 5 innocent people at stake. Amongst all the chaos one man stood strong. HE was the commander–in-chief of the experiment. HE exactly knew what he was doing. He very well knew that the success of this experiment would change the course of the universe.

The experiment was to create an unknown process called ‘life’. Life – as HE saw it was a self sustaining process which once initiated would grow and nourish itself to make universe a better place. A trial of this experiment was on. Five brave people had volunteered to be the part of this trial run. All these five people were put into this process ; were ‘made to live’ as HE described it. The objective was to check all the aspects of the equation of life before it is brought into existence.

 Time was passing on…days, weeks, months, years. All those 5 volunteers were exposed to a variety of emotions and were made to live a mix of intriguing experiences. They were made to cry and  also shown the way to smile; they were made to fall and given opportunities to rise; sorrow and laughter, fear and cheer, dark and light, anger against compassion, greed and lust against sacrifice and dispassion; HE also made them experience the nuances of hatred against love. HE was happy that his theory of duality seemed to be working!

But with passage of time it seemed that the volunteers were draining. Their capacity to match up with the mysticism of life was decreasing. Infact there came a stage when it seemed that the volunteers would not be able to sustain themselves through this vigorous process of ‘life’. HE was under tremendous pressure. His dream called ‘life’ was under major threat.

HE could not accept the failure of his equation. Strong forces were trying to abandon the experiment. Undeterred HE applied his mind, kept working hard – days and night, trying to understand the anomaly of his equation. An anomaly that was leaking the energy from the whole system. Finally HE found an answer. A solution to take care of all the leakages and to make the equation of life successful. HE injected this solution into the system and saw unprecedented success. Immediate improvement in the behaviour of the volunteers. They seemed to have internalized themselves with the ‘environment’ provided to them in the experiment. They had learned to chill, to have fun, to enjoy ‘life’!

Everybody was happy, there were celebrations all over the heaven. Ever since then the equation is still on, the process of life is going continuously without any failures. We all are part of this process and living this ‘equation of life’ created so many years ago. The architect of the system is given great respect in the heaven, even till today.

 HE is now popularly known as GOD.

The five volunteers were : Changu, Chhagan, kanu, Chhako and Babli.

Gods final solution :

HE made a mangu for every changu

A magan for every chhagan,

A manu for every kanu,

A mako for every chhako

And a bunty for every babli.

A friend for every friend.

I Thank God, I found you.





Wished to share this AV of Tiranga Cup.

7 05 2009

TIRANGA CUP : cricket tournament organised for the wonderful kids dwelling around the gandhi ashram area of ahmedabad.

The idea is to create an event where in the kids can enjoy a competitive sport and have a funfilled experience preparing for it.

The event is heartfully managed by independent volunteers; who inturn are getting lessons on innocence, love, teamwork, friendship and love filled camaraderie

SOME MOMENTS FROM THAT EXPERIENCE!!!