Clock.

9 07 2009

Late night, yesterday, it was pretty nice and windy; first signs of monsoons in the city. Bewildered and bemused (that’s how I reach home every night 🙂 ) I enter home. Locked the door, entered the living room; there’s this lone clock which hangs on one of the four walls of the living room. To inform myself of the time, I glance at the wall clock. The two hands were parted by a very narrow distance with shorter hand on 1.

Even after registering the time, I kept looking at the clock. It occurred to me, I HAVE BECOME A CLOCK; mechanical, time bound, boring and not in control of my own movement. This feeling angered me. It filled me with lot of anguish. Irritated, I move towards my room, put on the lamp, undress, lie on the bed, with clock on my mind. Slowly I get into thoughts, the angry feeling subsided and I was able to delve deeper.

Two interesting and very distinct aspects about the nature of clock are, 1 – The clock is not aware of time, it just keeps ticking. It does not know that by ticking it serves the purpose of keeping time for the world. The clock is unaware of the concept of time. And 2 – It never would favor anyone nor would be against anyone. It is the perception of the time-keepers who judge whether TIME favored them or not. To the clock this notion just doesn’t exist.

We too are like clock. We really do not know what purpose all our actions serve to the world or to the people who matter. Even if one wants to, there is no way to estimate the effect of ones actions or deeds. Just keep on doing what you think is right at that moment.

But we are humans, who are gifted with intelligence coupled with emotions. We cannot be as inanimate as the clock. So while we are ‘ticking’, we tend to question ourselves, and doubt ourselves. We bother for the ‘purposefulness’ of the being.

Thinkers, Spiritual leaders, and Philosophical thoughts they all boil down to one simple understanding that “YOUR ONLY WEALTH IS YOUR CURRENT HEART BEAT, THERE IS NOTHING ELSE THAT YOU CAN HOLD. SO DO NOT WASTE TIME WORRYING – NEITHER ABOUT BYGONES NOR ABOUT FORECASTS. INSTEAD, LIVE THE MOMENT. EVERYTHING ELSE IS ILLUSIONARY.”

In short just KEEP TICKING.

This message comes to us a thousand times via sms forwards, email forwards or some self-help authors or through quotes printed in Sunday newspaper. We all read it, share it, forward it and talk about it. But never even try to understand it, never even attempt to practice it. I belong to the same lot.

This proves that I am not like a clock at least in quality 1. Rather than just ticking I constantly keep bugging myself my questioning and doubting.

Probing further I also realized that the source of our anguish or joy is completely dependent on the response of others on our deeds rather than those deeds itself being the source. We thrive on the perceptions and judgments of people around and we do the same to others. Under the excuse of relationship, responsibilities, expectations, favors etc. we lose out on focusing on the act, the ‘ticking’. I belong to this lot too.

This proves that I am not like clock on the quality 2 point also. A clock ticks unaware of the perceptions of the people around, whereas my behavior is exactly opposite to that of the clock’s.

Being like a clock is not about becoming mechanical or boring neither it is about the sense of losing control nor being bound. These are just the notions that I derive from the judgments of the world around. No body, including our own selves, would know the eventuality of our deeds. The impact of our being on others varies from individual to individual. Being like a clock is about being aware that we are unaware.

Suddenly my eyes open. It took a few moments before I could realize that I was asleep since long. The lamp was still on, but  it looked a lot faded. That told me that its almost dawn. It is the sunlight coming through the window panes, which in turn is making the lamp look pale. Alas, the ‘light’ of the night is now merely a bulb mistakenly kept on!!!!

I found I was holding to the mobile in one hand, I look into the screen, it had a half written message in it. My eyes than move on the bottom right corner of the mobile screen, the time was 6:30. I get up, put on my bed wear, quench my dried throat, smile and go to bed again. Get up after a sleep of another 2 hours. While I get into the morning routine my mind started taking stock of all I thought I had thought.

Now, I wish I become a clock. I really wish that I enjoy my every ‘tick’.

With this I  wish ‘gdday’ 🙂 !

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One response

23 01 2013
Nirali

Toooo good Mihir!enjoy readin ur blog..forces introspection :/ 🙂

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