” I wish to die, now ” – available on amazon Kindle

18 04 2014



I took a while to prepare myself for this. It took a basket full of encouraging words from  patrons, reading enthusiasts and academicians for me to finally put my compilation out there in the market. Yes the kindle edition of “I wish to die, now” is up and available across all major amazon online stores across the globe. All you need is a kindle or a kindle reader on your device.

I genuinely look forward to this organic expansion of my thought realm by way of connecting to thousands of readers all across the globe. I am keen to see whether my thoughts are able to find a resonance in the worlds which I have never been exposed to.

Below is a brief description of the book for you to take a buy call.

happy exploring !

MIhir Gajrawala



“I wish to die, now”, is an individual’s tryst with himself; a passionate attempt to set the self free – a self that is holed in conventions, a self that is trapped in conditions and a self that is bound by compulsions. The author uses the medium of words to let the trapped energy of within, manifest itself. These are not mere essays or articles; these are the reflections of a sensitive soul, which is craving to break out.

The reader will encounter a variety of thoughts that will make him/her get closer to his/her deeper persona. From belief systems to communal behavior, from entrepreneurship to gratefulness, from politics to friendship, from philosophical prose to romantic poetry, from essays to opinions – it is a really broad canvas, which is a potent space for an exploratory reader to dwell in.

As Nietzsche puts it, “one must have chaos inside oneself to give birth to a dancing star”; the passages in the book will take the reader closer to the chaos that exists within him/her. It will make you question, it will make you wonder, and it will shake away all your inertia and bring you closer to your true being.

Irrespective of your interest in the specifics of subject matter, the book will connect you to the thoughts presented. The book will give a fillip to your sense of exploration and wonder.

And all of these come out as scintillating word sketches from a first time author, who describes himself as an expressionist.

“I wish to die, now” will make you want to live, even more!


here’s the link to the amazon page.


If you happen to buy the book, I request you to take time out to give your review on the amazon page. That shall really help me to know how my thoughts are being perceived.


Friday, 1st March,2002

1 05 2009

Now that politics, democracy, humanity etc. is on the mind, I wish to share this piece I wrote almost exactly 7 years back. It is a reaction to the most dreaded incident in the history of Gujarat and Ahmedabad, the Godhra riots.

No, the attempt is not to dig out the dead, nor to discuss riots etc. It is a follow up to the VOTING discussion which is currently ON. A perspective on – how we as individuals of a ‘democratic’ society behave, it reminds us of our hyocrisy, and tells us in our face that we are plain ‘selfish’.

We discuss democracy, we discuss ‘HOPE’, we discuss growth, we discuss changing the country with a VOTE..We just discuss.We enjoy talking. We are in the age of media and communication and blogging.

All that I am trying to say is that – “I should discuss with myself and try and change myself. I need to liberate myself from animosity, hypocrisy and short sightedness. That in my opinion would make me ‘free’; that in my opinion would result in DEMOCRACY”

Here it is, the exact representation, whatever I had expressed on that dreadful FRIDAY.



10:30 am

Friday, 1st March,2002


Aghast, Shocked, Amazed, Aggrieved; more than anything I feel helpless. Never have I experienced despair to the limits as I am experiencing now. For the first time ever I am feeling sorry, sorry for myself. I am full of remorse for being a part of a caste, for being a part of a community, for being a part of a population, for being a part of a generation and for being a part of a city, which rejects sanity.

It took just a day to kill my city. My city is raped and molested by its own people. There is not a building left without the marks of this mass barbarism. It was a day when hooligans and vandals were the dictators and ‘Police’ were spectators. Instigated by the fuel of communalism this vandals took over the city and gifted the city its worst day in history. The places where I used to shop, the places where I used to eat, the people with whom I used to deal are no more. The places were very much a part of the city’s lifestyle, which now remain destroyed, that too by the same people who till yesterday happily used those places. More than the slogan shouting ‘god loving’ people I was more shocked by the behavior of the so-called ‘urban’ and ‘educated’ citizens of the city who took the incident as a ‘shopping ! festival’. As I was moving around a few areas yesterday evening I could see people, both men and women looting shops and gay fully picking up things of their choice. The surprising sight was that at no place did I spot a policeman or a fire brigade(only one on cg road).

Today morning on my way to the office I felt the pain of the city. The buildings which remained full with activity were dead silent, the roads where I daily see youngsters hustling and bustling were not heard. Tears started rolling down my cheek. The reason for these tears is the painful realization that occurred to me after 22 years; the realization of the fact that I am an inhabitant of a jungle. Whom I considered civilians are all animals, whom I considered as care takers are all hunters and whom I considered as man (myself) turned out to be a rabbit burrowed in the hole.

I don’t know the people involved, I don’t know the reason for such an act nor am I interested to know; but what concerns me is the fate of my city. What was the mistake of my city? I am confused as to whom should this question be directed, to the chief minister, to the VHP or to the people. I don’t want any answers but I want some entity to respond.

Ahmedabad will be now in the history as a city that had the most glorious funeral. Given a choice I would have opted for another earthquake as the destroyer.

The process of our evolution to be human still remains unfinished. May we become human someday.

Ek Amdavadi.