Kadach.Shayad.Maybe – A soliloquy of despair : announcing the Hindi music video

14 01 2015

kadach poster2

प्रिय स्वजन,

कहते है की वेदना में से ही संवेदना जनम लेती है। २ साल पहले, निर्भया अत्याचार के अगले दिन जब अख़बार में उस दुर्घटना के बारे में पढ़ा , तो एक असह्य पीडा का अनुभव हुआ। कई दिनों तक आँखों से आंसू निकलते रहे। वो पीड़ा , को वेदना मुझमे से एक काव्य के रूप में प्रकट हुई। मेरे शिक्षक और मेरे मित्रो के प्रोत्साहन से प्रेरित होके उस काव्य को एक अच्छे कारण केलिए आप सब तक पहुचने का प्रयास किया है।

हम जिस २१मि सदी का गर्व करते है, वही २१मि सदी में एक जीव दूसरे जीव पे इतना घिनौना अत्याचार कर सकता है , ये हकीकत को स्वीकार करना मेरे लिए असंभव था। हम सब जानते है, की इस कक्षा के अत्याचार समाज में सदियों से चलते आ रहे है, और काफी मात्रा में फैले भी है। पर उस दिन उस दुर्घटना को जान मैं वो वेदना से रूबरू हो सका। जानता हु के वो असह्य पीड़ा कैसी होगी, और उस जीव ने क्या सहन किया होगा उसका एक अंश भी मैं जान या समझ नहीं पाउँगा, और प्रार्थना करूँगा के किसी को भी ऐसी वेदना सहन न करनी पड़े ; पर ऐसे अत्याचार में से उमटती वेदना के साथ हम सबकी संवेदना मिले वो हमारे समाज केलिए बहुत ज़रूरी है।

‘शायद’ – अ सोलिलोकी ऑफ़ डिस्पेर (निराशा का आत्मभाषण), वो घिनौने अत्याचार गुज़ारा गया हो ऐसी एक स्त्री की वेदना का आत्मभाषण है। अगर वो पीड़ित स्त्री को शब्द मिले तो क्या वो गुस्सा होगी या अपनी निराशा बयान करेगी ? ‘शायद’ वो निराशा है. ‘शायद’ वो हर पुरुष को याद करवाता है, के वो उसके जीवन में होती हर एक स्त्री के पोषण का योगफल है।

लज्जाजनक हकीकत है की फिर भी स्त्री पे अत्याचार गुज़ारते वक़्त पुरुष उन स्त्रिओ का योगदान भूल जाता है , और स्त्री में माता, बहन, सखी, जीवनसंगिनी या बेटी का रूप देख नहीं पाता। ये पीड़ा, निराशा और वेदना से भरे काव्य को – संगीत और दृश्य के सहारे आप सब के सामने प्रस्तुत करने का हमारा प्रयत्न है – ‘शायद’

आशा है की इस वेदना को समझ के, शायद हम सब में संवेदना जनम ले और हम एक ऐसी दुनिया का सपना देखने सक्षम बने, के जिसमे कोई जीव दूसरे जीव पे हिंसा न करे।

उत्तरायन याने पृथ्वी की स्थिति में बदलाव। अगले ६ महीने पृथ्वी सूरज की तरफ ढली रहे ऐसी स्थिति बनी रहेगी। यही समय है नयी शरुआत का , नयी परिस्थिति का निर्माण करनेका।

मेरे जीवन काल में मैं हिंसा और अत्याचार से मुक्त दुनिया देख सकु उस उद्देश्य के साथ , एक कलाकार की हैसियत से , इस म्यूसिक विडिओ के रूपमे, मेरा एक छोटा सा योगदान।

बहुत ही उम्दा और समरुचिपूर्ण कलाकारों के साथ मिलके जो सर्जन किया है , वो संक्रांति के ये पल पर ( 19.34.43 IST 14 जनवरी 2015) दुनिया को अर्पित करता हु।

अगर आपके दिल तक हमारी बात पहोच सके तो दूसरे दिलो को भी इस संवेदना के अनुभव से जोड़े। हमारी प्रस्तुति एक नेक विचार के सिंचन का साधन बने वही अपेक्षा के साथ…

आपका और सबका,
मिहिर गजरवाला

नीचेकी लिंक पे क्लिक करने से विडिओ देख सकेंगे

‘शायद’ (Hindi version) : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbfEqH71FTw


‘hgang in dharamshala’ the film – now on Youtube!

5 08 2014

Director’s note.

Can you trek your way to Nirvana?

The above question is the result of an experience that we, as a lot, had during our trip to Dharamshala. Twelve friends, twelve entrepreneurs who set out for a petite get-together in this hilly town, returned as if they were reborn. And I am not exaggerating. It’s been almost 6 months since, and each one is showing a sustained attitudinal shift in their lives. What made this possible?

It all started with a letter we sent to His Holiness Dalai Lama’s office requesting a private audience with him. We shared the dilemmas bothering us and wished he sheds some light on it. Unfortunately(or fortunately!!) the meeting did not happen as HHDL was traveling during that period. But the fact of the matter is, we did get those answers without seeing HHDL; the events of the trip made us realize the answers to those dilemmas!!

The entire lot, each one of us, while returning, felt as if we were called to this place. We all believed,until this point, that the trip is our plan, but in the end we realized that we are all a part of a bigger plan.

This was felt in particular, at the trek of Triund. The trek that we took up just for kicks, made us sweat and battle like never before. With scarce resources as we ventured into the un-chartered, it took us to some mind-altering discoveries. Lasting for 9 hours, the trek tested our individual capacities and brought us face-to-face with values of togetherness and kinship along with courage and conviction. From being entrepreneurs fixated to the word ‘achievement’, we came back discovering a powerful agent called ‘letting go’.

As I came back home, I felt in me an uncontrollable desire to attempt to articulate this experience of ours in a visual medium. What I had with me were some thousand images and couple of hours of random video footage. I tried to put them all together in a manner that it makes some sense to the one who engages. I used voice over technique to narrate our mind state and have relied extensively on the songs to convey what we had felt. There is not much footage of the Triund trek which is of greater significance, but than that’s fine.

It may not make any sense to an unknown viewer, maybe. But anyone who knows this lot or any one from this lot, will definitely see some value in this effort. The discerning viewer will enjoy some breathtaking panoramic shots of the magnificent Dhauladhar range, taken right from the top of Triund.

Having said this I put forth the following disclaimer :
‘hgang in dharamshala’ is not a narrative film, nor it claims to be a document of a certain trip. It is a visual memoir of what we friends felt, experienced and realized during this 4 day period. To put it humbly it is just a home video, albeit with a difference.

The film is already shared with family and friends, but we have received lot of requests from many other friends, relatives and well-wishers who wished to engage themselves with this effort.

For them and for any one who ends up here, the film is made available on youtube. FYI the film is uploaded in two parts. Find below the links.

And yeah, watch it till the end the credits roll, it ends with an original poem recital by …

Yours truly,
Mihir Gajrwala

” I wish to die, now ” – available on amazon Kindle

18 04 2014



I took a while to prepare myself for this. It took a basket full of encouraging words from  patrons, reading enthusiasts and academicians for me to finally put my compilation out there in the market. Yes the kindle edition of “I wish to die, now” is up and available across all major amazon online stores across the globe. All you need is a kindle or a kindle reader on your device.

I genuinely look forward to this organic expansion of my thought realm by way of connecting to thousands of readers all across the globe. I am keen to see whether my thoughts are able to find a resonance in the worlds which I have never been exposed to.

Below is a brief description of the book for you to take a buy call.

happy exploring !

MIhir Gajrawala



“I wish to die, now”, is an individual’s tryst with himself; a passionate attempt to set the self free – a self that is holed in conventions, a self that is trapped in conditions and a self that is bound by compulsions. The author uses the medium of words to let the trapped energy of within, manifest itself. These are not mere essays or articles; these are the reflections of a sensitive soul, which is craving to break out.

The reader will encounter a variety of thoughts that will make him/her get closer to his/her deeper persona. From belief systems to communal behavior, from entrepreneurship to gratefulness, from politics to friendship, from philosophical prose to romantic poetry, from essays to opinions – it is a really broad canvas, which is a potent space for an exploratory reader to dwell in.

As Nietzsche puts it, “one must have chaos inside oneself to give birth to a dancing star”; the passages in the book will take the reader closer to the chaos that exists within him/her. It will make you question, it will make you wonder, and it will shake away all your inertia and bring you closer to your true being.

Irrespective of your interest in the specifics of subject matter, the book will connect you to the thoughts presented. The book will give a fillip to your sense of exploration and wonder.

And all of these come out as scintillating word sketches from a first time author, who describes himself as an expressionist.

“I wish to die, now” will make you want to live, even more!


here’s the link to the amazon page.


If you happen to buy the book, I request you to take time out to give your review on the amazon page. That shall really help me to know how my thoughts are being perceived.

ક્યાં લઇ જાય છે આ રસ્તો / where is this road taking me

17 01 2014
‘dharam’ means ‘ones truest nature’, that part of you that cannot be taken away, that which cannot cease to exist. That is your ‘Dharam’. ‘Shala’ means ‘a designated space’. A designated space as in a  school that would teach you ways and give you means to realize your truest nature is called a ‘Dharamshala’. When we set out on this fun and getting together of friends trip , our only notion of Dharamshala was of a peaceful and serene hill station of North india.
Over 90 hours of being in mindful conversations with friends, after more than 30000 kms of collective travelling and after a soul stirring 9 hour trek in snow and walking our way to about 9000ft above sea level it dawned upon us that we happened to be in a school to learn and to understand our true nature, we found we are in DHARAMSHALA.
The trek of Triund, apart from its aesthetics and natural beauty turned out to be an experience that left me speechless. Yes, someone as expressive as me, is left speechless. This is after about 2 days that the whirlwind of overwhelming thoughts are settling down, and i am seeing some faint meaning in all that was felt. We started the trek as a fun holiday excursion not knowing that it would take a sharp turn and become a challenging trek where we will have to battle against odds like bad weather, uncompromising terrain, resource-lessness, fear and despair.
We battled it with guts, trust, hope, togetherness but mostly with a ‘careful unconcern’ and humour which is so unique to our lot. Never did any of us had anticipated that at the end of 9 hours the trek of Triund would give us the greatest lesson of our lives – lesson of conviction, courage, hope, causality, trust, friendship and above all the lesson to let go. Individuality gave way the belief in ‘interdependence’.
Most of our times are spent in planning. In trying to control the tomorrow. As they say living in the illusion of control. But if we apply only a bit of common sense, it is so evident that nothing is in your control. The point from where you start, the journey and the point at where you might end, nothing can actually be planned. All of it just happens.
I often share it with friends – that when i start writing a poem i actually do not know where it will end. Invariably rhyme precedes the reason. Infact i give meaning to it once i would have completed it. From this perspective i am actually not the writer, i am only a  medium. The poem doesn’t come from me, it comes through me. This is exactly how the entire life should be taken. That you are not the doer, you are a mere medium – is the ultimate way to live. The acceptance of this fact is the way to reach to experiences of contentment and happiness, the only path to rise above the set paradoxes. The trek of Triund taught this to us.
The verses below are an attempt to distill all of the above in the form of a poem. From one perspective it is a description of the beauty, wonder and amazement that was experienced during the entire Triund trek and from a certain perspective the verses are a metaphorical expression of life as i decipher it, at this point in time of my existence.
As i said above, I am giving meaning to it after the poem is written, these words actually occurred to me at different points during the 9 hour trek of Triund.
ક્યાં લઇ જાય છે આ રસ્તો , ક્યાં લઇ જશે આ રસ્તો ,

વગર જાણે ચાલ્યા કરું એના પર હું આમ અમસ્તો  .     (2)
આડા-અવળા ને ત્રાંસા પથરા થી અંકાયેલો આ રસ્તો ,
લીલાછમ ઘટાદાર વૃક્ષો થી ઘેરાયેલો આ રસ્તો ,
તાજા બનેલા બરફ થી શણગારાયેલો આ રસ્તો ,
ના દેખાતા પક્ષીઓના સંગીત થી ભરાયેલો આ રસ્તો ,
કુદરત ની અતુલ્ય ચિત્રકલા સમક્ષ વસેલો આ રસ્તો ,
ક્યાં લઇ જાય છે આ રસ્તો , ક્યાં લઇ જશે આ રસ્તો   (2)
નવા દ્રશ્યો મારી આંખ ને બતાવતો આ રસ્તો ,
મિત્રોના અંતર ને ઓળખવાનો આ રસ્તો ,
ભણેલી ફિલસુફી ની પરીક્ષા લેતો આ રસ્તો ,
નિયતિ ની યોજના થી રૂબરૂ કરાવતો આ રસ્તો ,
આસ્થા ની જ્યોત ને અખંડ બનાવી જતો આ રસ્તો ,
ક્યાં લઇ આવ્યો છે આ રસ્તો , ક્યાં લઇ જશે આ રસ્તો   (2)
જે જોયું છે તેનું સ્મરણ કરાવાનો  આ રસ્તો ,
જે નથી જોઈ શકતો એનો એહસાસ કરાવાનો આ રસ્તો ,
જ્યાં પહોચ્યો છું ત્યાં સુધી પહોચવાનો આ રસ્તો ,
જ્યાં નથી પહોચી શક્યો , ત્યાં મને લઇ જવાનો આ રસ્તો
જ્યાં નથી પહોચી શક્યો ‘નિર્દોષ’, ત્યા મને લઇ જવાનો આ રસ્તો  .
ક્યાં લઇ જાય છે આ રસ્તો ક્યાં લઇ જશે આ રસ્તો ,
વગર જાણે ચાલ્યા કરું એના પર હું આમ અમસ્તો  .

કોની શોધ ? / search for whom?

26 11 2013

We all are searching for something/someone. We are constantly in look out for something/someone. The search is so passionate that while we remain elusive the feeling of ‘missing out’ engrosses us perpetually. We regret not being able to find that which we are looking for. But do we know what we are looking for? What is this mad search for? The irony is we have no clue of what we are searching for. Ignorant of a goal, we make this search, the anchor of our lives. Isn’t this a fatal waste?
How weird it is to feel eluded of that which we do not even know. And how this pointlessness has become a celebration of life remains to be comprehended. Also this craving that we harbour – is it giving us ‘love’ or making us ‘hateful’. Happiness seems to be equated with the preference to be ignorant.

Below verses are a poetic depiction of the above observations.
ઘણા સમય થી તને યાદ કરું છું 
વૈશાખ ની લુ માં ગોતતા ગોતતા 
શિશિર ના વાયરા થકી આવી પહોચ્યો છું.
મને ના મળવાની તારી જીદ અપરંપાર છે 
ધસમસતા વંટોળ માં શોધતા શોધતા 
તને પામી લેવાની મારી હઠ બેમિસાલ છે.
તું શું છે તું કોણ છે તું ક્યાં છે 
વિચાર કરું ગુલાબ ની પાંખડી તોડતા તોડતા 
તારી ના મળવાની પીડા કેમ પારાવાર છે.

તું છે પ્રેમ કે પછી તિરસ્કાર છે 
જીવન ની કેડી પર ખોવાતા ખોવાતા 
તને ના જાણવાની મજા બેશુમાર છે.




Hey rains, i really need you to be with me today!

1 05 2013


There is a unique relation between man and nature. Science is struggling to comprehend it, religion has baptized it and commoners are neglecting it. It is left to us poets to explore this beautiful relation. For me nature exists, every aspect of it is a being for me. I often talk with it, walk with it; sometimes just watch it and sometimes listen to it. I had a little chat with rains yesterday. A hopelessly romantic individual that i am, I made the chat a little dramatic. Sharing that little chat I had with rain, in the form of a poem.
વરસાદ આજે તારી ખુબ જરૂર છે
વૈશાખ ની હજી તો માત્ર  બે – ચાર સાંજ પસાર થઇ છે,
તારા આગમન ને એમતો હજી ઘણી વાર છે ,
જાણું છું છતાય મારી આ જીદ છે ,
વરસાદ તારી મને આજે ખુબ જરૂર છે।
ધરતીને ઉનાળા ના તાપ ની જરૂર છે
ખેતર ને તું ભીંજવે એ પેહલા એને પણ સેકાવાની ઘણી જરૂર છે ,
સ્વાર્થી બની રહ્યો છું હે એની મને ખબર છે,
વરસાદ તારી મને આજે ખુબ જરૂર છે।
સૌ ને હોય એમ મને પણ એક સથવારા ની જરૂર છે,
કહી દઉં છું તને જે સર્વેથી મૈ  છુપાયેલું છે
હાસ્ય ની પાછળ મારા, એક મજાનું દર્દ પ્રસરાઇ ગયું  છે,
વરસાદ તારી મને આજે ખુબ જરૂર છે।
વરસ, તારા આલિંગન માં મને આવરવા વરસ,
વરસ, ઊભરાયેલા મારા રુદન ને લુછવા વરસ,
વરસ, આ ખાલીપાને ભરી નાખવા વરસ,
વરસ, કોઈ ના જુવે એમ, છાનું છપનું,  મને સ્પર્શી  જવા વરસ।
જાણું છું હું નિર્દોશ કે મને સમજે છે તું ,
છતાય સ્પષ્ટ કરું છું,
વરસાદ તારી આંજે મને ખુબ જરૂર છે
વરસાદ તારી આજે મને ખુબ જરૂર છે।


Hidden Love / અવ્યક્ત પ્રેમ

18 03 2013


We all have stories inside us. Within us is a mix of sketchy emotions, which we often feel, but never let out. Even if they are let out , they come veiled under worldly gestures. Yes, love exists within us, it resides inside us somewhere. Subdued by our fear and ignorance we are unable to embrace the existence of an unadulterated passionate love within us. We remain inhibited. And the love stays inside us like an unformed story. Thus i say we all have stories inside us.

The inhibited feelings that we carry manifests themselves in our sensitivity towards nature, music, arts, poetry etc. This could be the seed of romanticism.

The poem below is an expression of my experiences with my own feelings.

હૈયા ની અંદર, અંતર માં ક્યાંક
એક વાર્તા સંતાયેલી પડી લાગે છે ;

વસંત ની વેળા એ,કેસુડા નું આગમન થતા
મન નું પારેવું બની ઉડવા લાગવું  ,
સુમધુર સંગીત ના તરંગો કાને પડતાની સાથેજ
હૃદયનું ધબકારો લેવાનું ચુકી જવું ,
ટમટમતા તારલાઓ ને ચૌદસ ની રાત્રિ મા રમતા જોઈ
ચક્ષુ ના ખૂણામાં ઉલ્લાસ ભરેલ ટશીઓ નું ફૂટવું ,
નદી ને કિનારે ફફડતી પાંખોનો  સમૂહગાન સાંભળતા
મુખે થી સોહામણા છંદો નું છલક્વા માંડવું ,
વગર કોઈ કારણે ક્યારેક રાહ પર ઉભા ઉભા
ચેહરા પર નિર્દોષ  સ્મિત નું ફેલાઈ જવું  ,
આ નિશાનીઓ માં તારી હાજરી છતી થાય છે
મારા હૈયા ની અંદર,મારા અંતર માં ક્યાંક
એક અવ્યક્ત વાર્તા બની તું રહી જાય છે।

~ મિહીર